Cancer?

After seeing the doctors in London all I could think about was, surgery and cancer… they were just going around in my head, just the fact I could have a risk of cancer was terrifying.

Was I going to get cancer? Would I need to have lots of therapy? Was I going to be lucky and not get it? I just felt like if I kept them in it would be a time bomb ticking away not knowing when or if it could go off! I had so many unanswered questions I was too scared to ask, and didn’t know who to ask!

I had to try and make an “informed” decision I guess, but I felt so uninformed, I felt like I knew nothing, about the cancer, about my condition, I had a look on the Internet and couldn’t really find anything. I stopped looking after that for a few years.

The idea of finding out you might need surgery is scary, I was worried I could die on the operating table, I might not wake up? I was told with the type of surgery it is, if they accidentally caught my intestines during the surgery I could need a colostomy bag for a few weeks! That scared me even more. I know there are risks with all surgeries, but as it was my first and I didn’t know what to expect and was unable to talk to anyone who had gone through something similar, it just felt too hard of a decision to make!

I felt the decision was all up to me, I felt unable to talk to anyone, my parents, my friends I felt so alone in my decision, but I felt like my parents would want the cancer risk removed!

Some years on and now I know the cancer risk isn’t much higher than the risk of the typical person getting breast cancer, I feel like it was a mistake to have had it! I wish there was more information when I had the choice to go under the knife! It didn’t feel like informed concent!

My parents contacted the hospital to inform them I wanted to go ahead with the surgery. We received a date!

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