Down the rabbit hole…

Today was the day, the day for an MRI Scan, I was terrified, I had no idea what to expect, I was shaking, I felt sick.

Words just cannot explain how scared I was for my MRI Scan

I arrived at the hospital and went to where I was due to have my scan, I went to reception and was told I needed to change in to a gown to make sure I had no metal on that could affect the scanner.

I went in the changing room and started to cry, I was just so nervous and so scared, I had never expected that at the age of 16 I would be having all these different scans for something I didn’t understand and I felt that no one else understood.

The doctor asked if I was pregnant, it felt like horrible, there I was knowing that I had been told I cannot have children then a doctor a few days later asks if I am pregnant. I just didn’t expect it, I know it is protocol but if felt so wrong.

A nurse led me in to the room of the scanner, and told me I could lie down with my head out the scanner, I had tears in my eyes, I just felt like it was the end, I was so scared!

As I laid down the lady asked if I wanted to have some music to listen to, so she gave me a huge pair of headphones to have some music playing, the music was The Magic Numbers, who were not really a band I was interested in.

I laid down.

If you play the MRI Scanner above, with about half volume then the song below it at the same time at full volume though earphones you will hear sort of what I could hear.

As I laid there listening to the Magic Numbers tears filled my eyes, to this day their music still makes me feel a bit sad as it reminds me of that time laying there not knowing what was really happening, what they were looking for, I knew they were trying to work out what I had inside but I still didn’t really know.

The scan lasted 30 minutes, and for 30 minutes I had the whole Magic Numbers album played to me and could hear the horrible noises of the MRI Scanner. It may not sound like a long time but when you are so scared it felt like forever!

When the scan was over they sent me to get dressed and told me the doctor would be in touch to see me soon.

I don’t really remember the next appointment very well, I think she explained all that she knew again and tried to help me understand. It felt like nothing was going to be the same after this.

I was told they would organise an appointment in London for me to see the specialists.

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