Shrinking head

It was the day I was to find out what it meant for them to be confused by not seeing anything.
I do not really remember the day as to what happened, but I went with my Mum, Dad and my boyfriend at the time.

We went in and waited in the waiting room, my heart was racing, nervous, not knowing what to expect.

My name was called, I started to walk towards the doctor with my parents and boyfriend following, the Doctor said, it’s best only I go in, all I could think was why does she want me to go in alone, why is no one coming in with me, I am not ready to go in alone, I don’t want to be alone.

She got me to sit down, and gradually started to talk, all I can really remember is her head getting smaller and bigger as if it was shrinking in front of me, I’m not sure if my eyes were throbbing with nerves or what, she was saying what she thought was the issue, why I wasn’t having any periods but I really couldn’t listen or absorb anything, all I could ask was why my parents were not allowed in.

She seemed to be under the impression they shouldn’t know.

She told me I would need to have an MRI scan to confirm what she believe.

She then asked if I wanted anyone to come in to telll them, I said yes, as I hadn’t listened to anything she had said, all I remembered was her head getting bigger and smaller.

They all came in and she started to explain again, this time I listened, as she spoke I just thought I have no idea what any of this means, she told me about my chromosomes and I didn’t really know anything about them. I don’t really remember being taught anything about them in school.

She continued to explain she believes I have a Condition called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, she was not really aware of this condition, she said she hadn’t ever encountered it before and she needed to communicate with some doctors in London to find out more before I see her after my MRI scan.

I was told I couldn’t have children, it didn’t really affect me much as I had never wanted children or really liked them or any idea about having them.

After a while of her telling us about what she knew she showed us out the room and told me I would need to come in later that week to have my MRI Scan.

My parents left and I was left there with my boyfriend, he was upset, and cried, not really sure why he cried? Maybe he was worried because I had male Chromosomes I was a boy? I don’t really think it was anything to do with Children as after that day he never mentioned it, will never really know.

A bus went past as we were standing there, it had my friend on it, she saw us. She didn’t mention for some time she saw us.

Now I had another dreaded wait, a wait for the MRI scan.


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