Today I have the first Interview with someone about their Inersex Condition, the first person is Ifide she is from Serbia aged 37.
I put a post out in the support group I run to see if anyone wanted to take part in this idea, and I am so amazed and overwhelmed at the response I have had! This will be running for as many weeks as I have posts, I will try to get one out a week!
What intersex condition do you have?
I have PAIS, I am not sure what grade, but probably 4
How old were you when you found out?
I always knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t told about the whole truth until I had my surgery (vaginoplasty) at age 18, and later, when I was about 21, I got internet access at home and the world opened. I found support groups and the forum BLO…
How did it affect you at first?
It was quiet a shocker, first the fact that I couldn’t have kids, and later the fact I am not capable of penetrative intercourse, due to prolapse. It still affects my feelings, and I guess it always will, but I learned to live with it and take it as a life where I have to learn something out of this.
Does it affect you dating?
Yes, greatly… I had my surgery at a very bad time, I was a bit forced into it, not really knowing everything. If I could have chosen with full information, I would have said NO and wait until a significant other enters my life. Now it rather seem like a mission impossible.
How does it affect you now?
Coping with depression, panic disorder, osteoporoses, but trying to stay on the bright side
What would you say is the best thing about having this condition?
Missing periods? lol
What would you say is the worst thing about having this condition?
Not being able to have sex, and a “normal” relationship, and of course kids…
Finally, what advice would you give to people who are newly diagnosed?
Search for all tiny aspects and don’t rush into anything! There is life above things that are not available for us as for others, try finding your path and be happy with what you HAVE without just focusing on what you don’t
Anything else you want to add?
I love You for existing and for making this and the group, it is very good to know we are not alone out there!!!
Thank You Imy
Thank you so much Ifide for being the first person to respond to my interview questions!!
In this series names will be changed if requested, I will not say whether the person has used their real name etc.
If you have any questions or queries about anything you read please leave a comment below and I will answer anything you want to know about being Intersex or ask the person interviewed for a reply!
imogencallaway 
Hey Ifide, you mentioned your vaginoplasty being too early. I think dilation therapy is necessary to keep it open right? I have never had that surgery and I was wondering if you ever found sexual satisfaction through penetrative intercourse. From what I read online, dilation therapy is supposed to be more preferable than the actual vaginoplasty itself.
LikeLike
I have a reply here from Ifide:
By early I meant if I had the choice I would want to wait till I could have natural intercourse after the surgery. Dilation was out of question because I didn’t have any vagina. I did dilate for 4-5 years after the surgery but it started to be very uncomfortable and a real pain in the a…. So I gave up and with time my vagina shrunk and prolapsed it is not only a size of a finger. I had no sexual satisfaction because I haven’t had sex with a man, ever. Tho I am capable of orgasm, even tho I don’t have a clitoris either…. Weird
I had the surgery right before we had tragedy in the family loosing both grandparents in just 3 weeks, my mom was totally in shock, everything was so hard and depressed, and I had to deal with my emotions as well, not an ideal stage of life to find a boyfriend
LikeLike
I guess I should be glad I never had that surgery. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Thank you for your prompt and candid response.
LikeLike